Blog 1609 – 02.14.2020
Instead Of A Trauma
How about just a comma, marking a difficult passing moment, noting it as but an instant in this continuing comedy-drama. In trying to make this point yesterday to someone most dear to me, I cited the incident most drivers have experienced, and often, when a potentially tragic and scary near miss happens while driving, I mean one of those real show stopper, take the wind out of your sail, momentary heart stopper moments.These moments nor any others are not meant to cause us trauma or make us so afraid that we never drive again, but only to sharpen our attention to the road and the potential for danger around us, make us better drivers, not paralyze us or have us reliving that horrific moment or moments forever and ever.
That is at least part of what makes something traumatic for us, the inability to let it go, to get passed it, to see it as just a moment in time. Instead of reliving it over and over and letting it become a traumatic event for us, we need but to place a comma, and move on. “Easy to say, hard sometimes to do” some might say. But like good memory habits, good forgetting habits take time and effort to establish too. One of my favorite lines from the Apostle Paul, and I often disagree with his take on many things, is: “This one thing I do, forgetting the things that are past, I press on to the higher calling of Christ (the anointing.) Christ literally means, “the anointed” and anointing is an ancient custom of recognizing royalty. We are all princes and princesses, heirs to the throne, and in our royal procession have not a lot of time for crying over spilt milk or for continually rehashing the scary moments or scars of our past. Even scars are but survivor stars awarded not posthumously but to the living.
Life goes on, they say, but sadly and too often people do not, getting stuck, coming up against a hard or high spot in road that they just do not seem to get over or passed. It may sound flippant or cavalier of me, I do not mean it that way, but sometimes we just have to make the extra effort to “Get over it, Alice.”
And I do not mean hide it or deny it ever happened, but just to put it in perspective, even the very worst thing that might have happened or did happen is but a blip on the screen, a comma announcing an “and then.” I enjoyed the recent ad campaign that used “&” making quite a point of there always being more and better to come.. That is only true if we keep moving, going forward, upward, inward and outward, not getting stuck in a rut reliving our saddest and scariest near misses and tragedies.
We, most of us, enjoy a little drama from time to time, but none of us need to be side-lined by trauma, instead of dwelling on and allowing any hard moment to become a trauma just make it a small comma preceding a sure and certain “and then.”
Your friend and fellow traveler,
And by the way, Happy Valentine’s Day to all lovers everywhere, young and old, out there. Here’s to more happiness and love, more commas, fewer dramas, and no lasting traumas. Amen.