Blog 1362 – 06.12.2019
The Secret Of Getting The Best Out Others And Ourselves
Old school, parenting, management, coaching, and teaching is like a page out of Crime and Punishment. Some years ago I read a brief little management book called, “The Ten Minute Manager” The book basically said that the secret to getting the best repeat performance out of people was to catch them doing something right and reward them for it. Often the only reward required is a little praise. Like teaching a dog, “Good boy (or good girl).”
Why do with think “sparing the rod” spoils the child, the athlete, student, or employee? The carrot is a far better improvement and performance driver than the whip. If work gets done, well, and at a profit under harsh management it is “in spite of it” Not “because of it.” And we can only wonder what might have been achieved with a little encouragement.
I do not suppose that I will win many converts from the “my way or the high way” or “my parents beat the crap out of me and I turned out okay” crowd but again I repeat – in spite of, not because of.
But do not take my word for it, try it for yourself, and especially on yourself, instead of beating yourself up over a mistake, catch yourself doing something right, and give yourself an attaboy or attagirl. You will find you grow quickly to like and respond to positive feed back and will soon be more than willing to do anything for you.
I have been young and now am not so young and I have had a number of people over me, parents, teachers, sergeants, officers, professors, supervisors, and managers. Hands down the best boss I ever had never told me to do anything but always ask me if I could do him a favor. He was quick to praise and slow even to critique my work. I would have done anything for that guy. As Forest Gump said of Lieutenant Dan after his welcoming speech to Forest and Bubba when they were assigned to his platoon in South Vietnam, “I sure hope I don’t let him down.”
Fear as a motivator may seem to get quicker results, but as wise Muppet Master Yoda whom I quoted recently said:
“Fear leads to the dark side.
Fear leads to anger.
Anger leads to hate.
Hate leads to suffering.”
Let love have its perfect work. It is always the best motivator of others and ourselves.
Your friend and fellow traveler,
To Make You Feel My Love