Blog 1172 – 11.11.2018
The Perfect Score
I believe that 121 (one to one) is the perfect score. On this day in nineteen nineteen on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, The Great War ended. The war to end all wars it was called, but in just less than twenty years it would be called World War One as the Second World War began. For many years after nineteen nineteen this day was called Armistice Day to remember the laying down of arms against one another. For quite some time we have taken to calling it Veterans Day to celebrate the survivors. But the survivors of war more than anyone else still hope that their war will be the last, the one that ends all wars. Still we keep score.
In the U.S. people used to say that we never lost a war but that was never really true for we lost everyone before the fighting started. When we failed to stop disagreements from turning into a bloody war we first lost and then every drop of shed blood, every life taken, every child, spouse, or parent left bereaved another loss. The only profits of war are financial. In the end after all the blood is shed, agreement still needs to be talked out around a table where no one wants to tally the toll of all that was lost just to get back to the table.
In our relationships, one on one, when we start keeping score the seeds of war are sown and the harvest of such is always horrendous. In the great novel by one of my all time favorite writers, Pat Conroy, The Prince Of Tides, the narrator of the story says of his parents, “In the war between my mother and father, the only prisoners that they took were their children.” We have all of us, at least most of us, grown up in an armed, culture of warfare. In our marriages, in our movies, it all seems to be about revenge, getting even, keeping score.
I wrote in the beginning of this blog that I believe the perfect score is one to one. To me the best of times, the best and sweetest relationships are those one on one. That is where we always win or lose the fight, the struggle to realize who and whose we are. We are One and the Same and there never is any need to keep score for we win in the end. How could there ever be any other result. For there never is anyone but ourself, and perhaps ole illusionary Ego, to oppose us. Say it, say it again, “Quit Keeping Score, We Win.”
Your fellow traveler and forever friend,