Blog 1071 – 08.01.2018
Why I Believe Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
I can hear my old friend from Jersey, Tom Spillane, saying, “It’s a new month, Honey.” And I can also hear Dionne Warwick singing, “‘Cause breaking up is so very hard to do.” I think I have figured out why, because it is impossible. That thought came to me as I listened again to “Broken Vow”, the wonderfully sad but beautiful song by Josh Groban, that I posted on my Daily Mockingbird Song email yesterday. One line in the song especially goes against my once Christian conscience:
“I’d sell my soul to hold you once again.”
That line no longer bothers me because I know that it is impossible to sell our soul for several reasons. One because there is but One soul and it is not ours alone to sell and secondly since their is but One soul and all and everything that is shares it there would be no one else to sell it to.
This is the self same reason that breaking up is impossible to do, not just very hard to do. I have for some years tried to talk people out of getting married. And not because I am a four time “winner” at the marriage game. I used to say loser but no more for I talked four beautiful women into marrying me and that makes me a winner not a loser. And if you said aloud when you read the above bit “marriage game” that marriage is no game, I say don’t take everything so serious. Marriage is indeed a game, a high stakes game, in which two people wager their hearts and like signers of a Declaration Of Co-Dependence their sacred honor and their fortunes. And the odds are against them and I will not quote the sad statistics because all lovers young and old believe they are the exceptions. I recently read in, I believe it was People Magazine, that Will Smith said that he and his wife Jada Pinkett Smith were not just married any longer but are life partners and that there will be no divorce ever in their future. How I hope that works out for them but the odds are against them and even if divorce does not separated them death will or at least appear to.
I started to tell you about how I try to talk people out of getting married but got side tracked as I often do. But hey sometimes there are interesting things to be found there too. I recall on a work assignment to Italy meeting a young man from Virginia who shared his nuptial plans for later that summer to his girl back in Virginia. I said as I was want, “For heaven sake don’t do it. Do not ruin a great loving relationship by getting married.” He said, “But you do not know this girl.” I replied, “There is only one girl. They are all the same girl. And there is only one guy. And we are all of us that guy.” The biggest problem in marriage, at least as I see it, is that often when we marry we think we own the other, and love that is expected as a duty becomes a form of slavery and a seething resentment. All too soon we end up hating what we once loved or at least we start to act like it.
But all that seems to counter my argument about it being harder than hard, impossible in fact, to break up. As the quote picture today says, “It Is All In You Head.” You are free to love, free to be happy, walking the path together or apart, and no matter what appearances may seem we are all joined at the heart. Take this man or that, this woman or that. Always do your best to love the one you’re with, as you would yourself for indeed they are. There is only One and he, she, we are It. So tag you are it.
Your friend and fellow traveler,
Writing about Oneness,
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