Blog 1013 – 06.04.2018
Home To Stay
Sometimes I write my blogs and record my Mockingbird Songs as much as a week ahead to have them ready to publish to you each morning. But I have discovered that I prefer to write my blogs hot and fresh off the presses so to speak. When I not longer need to work a day job to pay my bills, keep financial commitments, and support myself I hope to spend the last years of my life as a full time writer and singer of songs. Certain themes as you have perhaps noticed are recurring favorites of mine.
Home, or more especially home sickness, co-dependency, and loneliness being one of my most favorites. Writers write and singers sing because they believe that they have something to share that has changed their world or thinking for the better. Here goes.
Josh Groban’s lovely song Home To Stay is a haunting oft told tale of a young man wanting to give his beloved space to find that her true home is with him as he believes his is with her. Co-dependency is a diagnosis of a mental disorder but yet we have all suffered from it to some degree or another even as we all come from dysfunctional families. I believe there are no perfect families or perfect people. Loving them makes them and us closer but still there is always room to improve or I prefer to think unfold the deeper perfection within each of us.
I like many of you lived the first half of my life not feeling very at home in my own skin and for the most part homesick for what I believed was that “missing part”, “missing ingredient” in my life. The almost year I spent in South Vietnam, my last as a teenager, and the three years that I spent in the military, and those in college, and all the others working away from family and friends that I grew up with in my home town of Chattanooga, Tennessee left me most times feeling at least a little “homesick”, “lonesome”, “lacking.”
For sometime I have come to believe all that ache was unneeded and unnecessary. We are made to be complete, entire, and whole in ourselves. Yes, indeed, we are a part of a greater whole, but there is no hole in us that has to be filled for us to feel complete. And there is no home past or future that we must return to, to feel, “At home.”
My dad loved cliches, quips, and sayings and was a fount of them. On those rare occasions when we had guests at our dinner table he would often remark, “If you are not at home you ought to me.” He meant the friendlier interpretation but loved the looks on people’s faces who wondered if he might be suggesting that they leave. Being at home in their own skin is something we say about what psychologists used to refer to as “self actualized” people, mentally healthy people.
I repeat dad’s tongue in cheek remark but I mean it in its highest best sense, “If you are not at home you ought to be.” Home they says is where the heart is. Our hearts are in our chests and we carry them wherever we go and that is home.
Your friend and fellow traveler,
At home wherever I am,