It Blog 1592 – 01.28.2020
Eyes Wide Opened, Fully Closed, and Winking
Winking is, among other things, the international flirt sign or symbol and there is nothing quite as harmless and fun as a little flirting. Now, I know some of my tight laced brothers and sisters (And you know the tight euphemism I would rather have used) might think flirting is a “gate way drug” to serious addiction and law breaking – leading to the breaking of several of the top ten hits especially those starting with “Thou shalt not covet (desire).” But then I prefer the Ten Intentions (Desires) For A Better World to the Ten Negatives for a Narrower One.
But back to the benefits of harmless flirting:
Number 1: It makes us glad and grateful to desire and to feel ourselves desired, to feel we are wanted and want to be alive.
Number 2: It keeps the juices flowing and that is good for digestion as well as the heart and lungs.
Number 3: It reminds us how we got here in the first place and of the creative urges that still stir in us so long as we have blood flowing through our veins, our brains, and our other parts.
Even the oldest and most senior of us still like to think someone else recognizes there is desirableness and beauty in us. Even great granny perks up when someone says, “Hey, Beautiful.” And great grandpa also, to: “How are you doing, Handsome?”
So, what, I say, is the harm in a little teasing, pleasing anyway? Life is too short not to seize every opportunity to turn as many frowns as we can upside down. Someone has said that the cheapest and most effective beauty treatment in all the world is a smile. I happen to think laugh lines are gorgeous on guys and gals.
And whether flirting leads to new and deeper relationships or adds more pleasant passing acquaintances I say, “Bully.” For we are always free to say, “I am flattered but I am saving this and the next dance for someone else.” No harm, no foul.
I am afraid that many of the “Me Too” and “Woke folk” may have thrown the baby out with the wash. I am in no way defending the Harry Weinstein’s or the “grabbers,” force or power users, or sexual harassers or abusers. I am just saying a little more good natured flirting on all sides could prevent this Unholy and Uncivil Cold War from continuing to grow and becoming a hot bloody one.
I grew up in a stunned and stunted South still carrying not just the old white scars, the black brown and blue bruises, but also the still glowing red grudges of a war long past that was over issues that for some still needed to be settled. Lines were drawn then, in the South of my youth, everywhere and sadly for some they still are. I have shared about a burger joint in downtown Chattanooga that back then had two front doors one for whites and one for coloreds. The greatest sin then was thought by many to be intermarriage. All the while the term “honkies” referred to white men who drove into black neighborhoods at night and honked their car horns for the black girls to come for a ride.
The world has changed a lot since those days but many attitudes still have not. Hardly any businesses were opened on Sundays then. Today only two immediately come to mind that still stay closed on Sunday. Chick-Fillet and Hobby Lobby. I am sure there are others. But how much nicer, I think, it is to have far more eating, shopping, and other options on Sundays than just church.
Lastly Number 4: Perhaps the best thing flirting reminds us of is of how good it is that no matter our differences that we can still meet in the middle in so many wonderful ways. Wink, wink.
Your friend and fellow traveler
Promoter of thinking and winking,