Blog 3201 – 08.07.2024

Long Term Relationships

In three days my wife Linda Lee and I will celebrate thirty-five years married to one another. My first three marriages lasted one and one half years, three years and seven years respectively. I loved all three of those women and I believe that they loved me too. Why did those marriages not last and more importantly how has this relationship lasted all these years? Much as I would like to claim some credit for this accomplishment I must admit that my wife is more responsible than I am.

When my mom, the first woman I ever loved and who expected me to be the best I could be, met my wife she took me aside and stated plainly, “David, this woman is never going to let you go.” For years I thought that was some kind of ominous warning. I have come to believe that it was rather a mother recognizing that she had found a woman who loved me as much as she did and with the same unyielding ferocity, fierceness, and determination. A line from a Christian hymn about the love of God comes to mind, “Oh, love that will not let me go, I rest my soul in Thee.”

I heard an interesting talk on YouTube yesterday called, “Why You Will Pick The Wrong Person To Marry.” The gist of the talk was about why we are not really looking for someone to make us happy as much as we are looking for someone to make us miserable in the same way our parents did when we were children. The old song says it, “I want a girl just like the girl that married dear ole dad.”

My Linda Lee loves me like my mother did. She is flawed and broken, but then aren’t we all to some degree? And isn’t that what love really is not looking for perfection in ourselves or others, but recognizing and realizing that finding someone who makes us want to be a better person is the best that we can hope for in any relationship. My mother not only saw the best in me, she demanded it and so does my wife. Those other women let me go, let me off the hook, she never has and I am convinced never will. I love her for that and finally realize that for years I thought that I would never find any woman who could or would love much as much as my mama did. Thirty-five years ago, in three days, I married her. It was the smartest move I ever made.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

David White

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1TO_4yTWkyDT_lqX7-BVOAa7tk8zXeoCk/view?usp=drivesdk

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