Blog 853 – 12.24.2017

“Like a Breath Of Fresh A…”

Since today is one of my most favorite holidays, Christmas Eve, I have always enjoyed it more than Christmas Day, I thought I would try to write something special. Actually I try to do that every day. Word Press, my blog platform, has statistics where I can check how many views a certain blog gets and from what countries. Somewhat surprisingly, maybe not, one of my most read blogs that is still being read all around the world is a tasteful, but fun, and still pointed piece that I called, “Breasts A Touchy Subject” in which I talked about how few women are happy with the size and look of their breasts and that I like many guys love them all – all shapes and sizes.

I had a woman yesterday, for whom English was not her first language, thank me for the “sweet” blog and say she was working trying to accept her body and see herself as beautiful. My, I would have rather touched that dear heart than be called up before a large crowd to receive a Pulitzer. Crowds are not my thing, I really love people best one on one and as writing is a solitary thing in most cases so also is reading.

One of my favorite movies, and I hope you don’t get too tired of hearing that expression, for I have so many favorites. You are one of my favorite reader, don’t ever forget that. Someday I hope to have thousands of people reading me but even then I will write like I was writing for one or two. I write for me and for you and that never has to change.

The movie, Wild Wild West, went the old TV series several better. With a black James West played by Will Smith, Kevin Kline playing West’s partner Artemus Gordon and the lovely and very curvy Salma Hayek as the lady they were both after. Kenneth Branagh also did a fantastic job as a “sawed off” Doctor Loveless, their arch enemy, even as Moriarty was for Sherlock Holmes. There are many great scenes and funny lines in the movie. One scene in particular between Salma and Kevin has the smitten and tongue tied Artemus trying to woo Salma’s beautiful heroine character with poetic words that hilariously miss their intended mark. Trying to comment on her remarkable and full luscious figure he says she is, “Like a breast of fresh air.” Then trying to correct his slip he says. “Like a breath of fresh ass.” Some of you may not care for those remarks but I think them both priceless and so very eloquent after a manner. They were meant to be a couple of true “Freudian slips.” Do I need to remind you ladies that the two things that catch a man’s attention most are not your lovely breath taking eyes but two points further south of your lovely shoulders and gorgeous clavicle. Dare I say it to paraphrase Rhett Butler’s caddish remark, “Dare I call it love?” Dare I call it leering, lusting after your ta ta’s and caboose? Yes, I believe I will. “Like a breast of fresh air. Like a breath of fresh ass.”

Now that I have cleared the air a bit, may I say to each and all – man, woman, and child and to all of the breasts of the field and and of the woods as well (Slipped again, I meant to say beasts of the field…) – Merry Christmas to all and may all your stocking be full of goodies, your tree packed with presents and your jingle bells, jingling all the way. Take that last bit any way you like so long as it makes you smile because, Santa, the Universe, and I so love to see you smile that thousand watt smile of yours, so bright that we all three need to wear shades.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

Riding shotgun with Santa tonight,

David White