Blog 792 – 10.12.2017

One Ring To Rule Them All

Continuing a favorite theme of mine – trying to refute this notion that we need anyone outside ourselves to love us or to make us whole I would like to talk a little about rings. The narrow fundamentalist sect that I grew up in once even taught against the wearing of wedding rings calling that, neckties, and even zippers, I believe, “superfluity of naughtiness” – whatever the heaven that is supposed to mean. We still have many groups that believe and teach that any progress, technical, scientific, or social is evil and should be shunned – as if “the way we used to do it or have always done it” is sacred and anything else is a sin.

The first ring other than the Cracker Jacks variety that I remember receiving was a gold pinkie ring that my mother gave me for my eighteenth birthday. My first wife, girl friend at the time, gave me a sliver ring with a setting of black onyx and with a silver D, my first initial. Her gift upstaged my mother who already did not like her much for taking first place in her boy’s heart, a position hers quite unrivaled for eighteen years, I mean except for Shirley Temple and every other pretty girl or woman that I ever met or saw. Just trying to be honest to the memory of my mama.

The next significant ring in my life was a ring I made from a quarter, tapping the outside edge with a spoon till it mushroomed over,making a beautiful silver ring suitable for a friendship ring or wedding band. I made this ring during my first few months in the Army not long after Basic Training, for my girl friend, still at that time not yet my first wife, a situation I would soon remedy. I also made one after it for my mom, and two from half dollars, one for my dad and one for my brother. I have made more than a few of these time consuming, labor of love intensive, rings from solid silver coins over the years vowing after finishing each one that it would be my last. The thumb holding the coin really takes a beating.

Rings are symbolic of a circle which is itself a symbol of continuity. They are by some thought to be symbols of ownership. Many the lad or girl thinks putting a ring on the finger of their love means, “He/She is mine.” Sad little myth this, the first crack in many a broken heart. We are always free to love whomever we will and do with or without rings. I think the ring that the Prodigal Son’s dad requested the servant to get for his returning son was not a symbol of ownership but of pride and love saying to all -my boy is come home where he wants to be.

I took today’s title from J. R. R. Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings:

“One ring to rule them all.

One ring to find them all…

In the darkness bind them.”

Or something like that. Rings have often been used to symbolize not only love and friendship but power. Kings and Popes required their subjects/followers to kiss their ring to show their loyalty and the impression of their ring was often affixed to important decrees and documents.

To paraphrase Forest Gump’s line about shoes, “I have worn lots of rings.” Some were given to me and some I bought myself. They have all meant something to me as I hope the ones that I have made or bought for others meant to them. Every ring I ever bought, made, gave or received was given in love. I never made one of those hard to make silver rings for myself. Yep, I think I am going to break yet another vow. I believe I have one more ring in me – one ring to rule them all – for the one I believe I could have loved them all better if I had always truly loved best of all. I know what I am getting me for Christmas – a beautiful ring and another sore thumb. And, no, I am not taking requests for rings but will gladly instruct anyone who wishes how to make one for themselves or another loved one, step by step how to do it. Whether you make one yourself or not for your own sake, heaven’s sake, and all of the rest of us – love yourself enough to put you first in your life. The rest of us will be satisfied being a close second or if you think about it loving you is really loving all of us too. Amazing but I believe true.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

David White