​Blog 733 – 08.25.2017

Pardon Me If I Repeat Myself

Repeating oneself is often considered a sign that one is getting older but I submit that it may actually be a sign that one is getting wiser. The really important lessons need to be repeated and hopefully thereby communicated to younger folk or those who follow us. It forever amazes me that I am learning lessons yet from songs that I heard thirty, forty, or even in some cases over fifty years ago. Man, I so wish I had listened to those songs more often and more closely. As an example I cite Carly Simon’s hit song, “That’s The Way I’ve Always Heard It Should Be” released in 1971.

“You say it’s time we move in together
  Raised a family of our own you and me.
  That’s the ways I’ve always heard it should be.
  You want to marry me.

  You say we’ll soar like two birds in the sky
  But soon you’ll cage me on your shelf
  I’ll never learn to be just me first by myself.”

But I did not listen and most of you young people won’t either but sooner or later we all have to learn to be ourselves by ourselves in order to love and appreciate ourselves which is what makes loving anyone else even possible. Because you see the problem is always “me” and likewise the answer is always the same “me.” Remember even Jesus said the two great laws that supercede all the others are: “Love God with all your heart soul mind and strength. And love your neighbor as you love yourself.” Since we are in the middle of all three of those love relationships it seems more than possible that we cannot really love God or anyone else without first learning to love ourself (good ole me).

Yes, I know this is something I have repeated often and probably will as long as I write, speak or sing. As Paul Stookey wrote in his getting married classic, The Wedding Song:

“Well then what’s to be the reason
  For becoming man and wife?
  Is it love that brings you here
  Or love that gives you life?

  For if loving is the answer
  Then who’s the giving for
  Do you believe in something
  That you’ve never seen before?
  There is love, oh there’s love.

Paul asks several question in the cited piece but the last one I will try to answer. It is quite difficult if not impossible to believe in and build a dream or a life around something we have never seen before. All the more reason to be in love with ourself first if we are to have any hope of making any other relationship work. And Carly had that so right. It is so critical to learn who we are, to know and be in love with ourself first, before getting married. Nobody else can do that for us, we have to do it for and by ourself.

And yeah, I know I am repeating myself again.

Your friend and fellow traveler,
David White