Blog 666 – 06.17.2017
Thinking About Dads

On this annual Father’s Day weekend there is more than a little thought given to dads. I have known a lot of dads in my life. Having married four lovely women I also got to know four wonderful dads in greater detail. All very different and unique but as I got to know them first through the eyes of their loving daughters when I came to know them for myself I was well prepared to see the very best of them and in them. I was blessed to father a daughter and a son and am also grateful that I got to father two additional sons of one of my wives. One of those boys, David, and my daughter, Emily, have already passed but I still have Ben and Jon to love on this side and hope I can be a better dad to them for all I have learned from all the dads I have known.

Tomorrow in another “Dad” blog I will focus on a particular Dad in my life but today I would like to pay special tribute to William “Buddy” Barefield, Tommie Jim Walton, Roy Kanold, and Wallace Mendel Stokes. These four men, fathers in law, were and will always be fathers indeed to me.

I first heard of Buddy while dating his daughter, Barbara Ann, who later became my first wife. Barbara, her sister Darlene, and brother Billy had been sent by their parents, Bud and Mae, to live in Chattanooga from Chicago. Bud and Mae were concerned for their safety and the bad influences of the rough part of Chicago where they lived and hoped they would be safer and have a better life growing up with Buddy’s wonderful parents, Maggie and John Grady Barefield. John and Maggie lived in East Lake, a community in Chattanooga, Tennessee. They also attended a little church that I grew up in. That is where I met and was soon smitten by Barbara Ann. As I said I heard a great deal about Buddy before I ever met him from his daughter. Barbara loved her daddy but warned me that he was pretty hard on boys interested in her. (A pretty common attitude dads seem to have.) I got to know Bud quite well and spent a lot of time with him after my return from Vietnam. I believe Bud found me quite easy to love for he knew I loved his daughter and I found him easy to love for the same reason. Bud had some habits and attitudes that probably shortened his life but I have only the fondest memories of the hours that I spent with him.

Tommie Jim Walton was a sailor in World War II and though he had a lovely and loving wife and two beautiful daughters (I married the eldest, Linda Gail) he never failed to honk his car horn at any pretty girls he saw no matter who was in the car. I figured it was a Navy tradition that he felt compelled to uphold for like Marines once a Sailor always a Sailor. Jim was a life long Mississippian and though I might have disagreed with him on some of his politics or prejudices I never met a kinder more considerate gentleman. He was, when in comes to caring, truly a sweet prince among men. One of my fondest memories of him was fishing in a John boat that he would slide deep into the huge trunk of a sixties model Pontiac, the heavy trunk lid holding it in to the nearest, stream, river, or lake. Linda Gail quoted her dad’s words like a preacher quotes the Bible. Gratefully he was wise and sparing with his words but ever so generous with his help and heart. Jim left us shortly after Hurricane Katrina came ashore making a mess of his beloved Mississippi. Had he lived he would have loved to help restoring her to her former beauty.

Everytime I hear the beautiful ballad, “Leader Of The Band” I think of Roy Kanold whom I never met in this life but came to know and love through his youngest girl,  Sandra Darlene. She adored her daddy no less than any girl and perhaps far more than most. The line from John Mayer’s Fathers Be Good To Your Daughters “for you are the god and the light of her world” always reminds me of Sandra’s devotion to her daddy. Roy was a band leader in the US Army during World War II stationery at Fort Benning, Georgia where Sandra was born. God, but she loved that man, and still does and so do I. Her love for him and his for her has changed a lot of lives and I am one so grateful for the love of Roy Kanold for his daughter and her undying love for him.

The only living of my four World War II era fathers, five including my Dad, James White) is Wallace Mendel Stokes, the beloved Linda Lee’s beloved dad. Wallace is South Carolina born and bred and all he ever wanted to be was a farmer. He lived out that dream on a small farm between Sumter and Bishopville, South Carolina. He fought the Japanese in WW II helping take back the Philippines and returning as quick as he could to his young family which grew from one son to seven children in no time at all. Farming is hard work as Wallace knew and his wives and children soon learned. Wallace lost his first wife, Willie Mae, shortly after the birth of their third son, Paul. Not long after the death of his darling wife Willie Mae and with then five children to care for (Harold, Esther, Linda Lee, Jack and baby Paul) and with a farm to run Wallace met, instantly loved, and quickly married the lovely Betty, a young mother with baby Gene not much older than Paul. Wallace and Betty had two more children, red-headed like their dad (Sarah and Luke) to complete their rural version of the Brady Brunch. It is hard too imagine Wallace without Betty or she without him. Wallace now resides at a Nurse Care Center and his memory comes and goes. Betty lives with their youngest son Luke and his wife Jackie near where Wallace once ruled the roost of his and Betty’s wonderful brood. All of us who know and love Dad Stokes, wish him only the best of days filled with happiness and rest. He has worked hard all his life and deserves his retirement.

Well, there is my tribute to four wonderful Dads. There are many dads who deserve a fine tribute and my hat is off to each of you. If you are fortunate enough to still have your dad I hope you will make a special effort to show him some love this weekend and if not I am sure you can deposit that hug and affection upon a dad nearest you. Dads are pretty cool about letting us gush a bit if it’s only once in a year. Love you, Dads.

Your friend and fellow traveler,
David White