Blog 570 – 03.13.2017

The Moon’s A Harsh Mistress

Josh Groban, one of the great voices of our time, has re-recorded many of the great songs of the past and one of those haunting lyrics is, “The Moon’s A Harsh Mistress.” If you have ever tried to love someone who does not love themself nor believe anyone else could or should the words of this beautiful song and it’s melody will move you. Most of us have known someone who was emotionally challenged. I was going to say emotionally closed off or crippled but thought I’d be kind. People so debilitated are not often kind to others but are even more unkind to themselves. They are selfish and not in the good way, the best way that comes from a knowledge of Who and Whose you truly are. But in that harsh demanding way that requires perfection in others and even more so in themselves. Because they are so miserable and unhappy they expect someone else to fill the perceived void in their heart and life. And that is an impossible task for any human to do.

The first great love of my life was my Mama. She did not love herself and was very hard on my dad, my brother, and me. She loved us the best way she could. It was a demanding of perfection kind of love that we could never achieve. Oh, how I tried to make my Mama happy. And I know my dad and my brother did too. I remember so well coming home from elementary school with a report card that I hoped would please my Mama. I had all E(s) Excellent in everything except Arithmetic. In that I got an S for Satisfactory. Numbers have never been my strong suit. All my Mama saw was the S. She wanted me to be perfect and nothing short of that was ever good enough. Alas, I was not perfect, am not, and do not even desire to be. I just want to be the best me that I can be. Love that demands perfection is a twisted broken love and comes across as a cold harsh mistress like the moon Josh sings about.

I have been pretty hard on my Mama since she took her own life almost seventeen years ago. For most of my life I was pretty hard on myself for my perceived failure to love my Mama enough to make her happy. Somewhere along the way I learned that we cannot make anyone else happy and that it is not even our job. Our job is to be happy, to find that place within where the blessings come out, to bask, to revel in that, and to shine bright enough to be an encouragement to others. And Mama, I try to do that every day. I hope by now you have started a new adventure in Time and Space and that you like the rest of us are learning how to really love yourself and be and do all that you ever dreamed.

I used to think it was my job to save my Mama and with her all of the Ellenor Rigby’s in the world, the lonely unhappy people. As I said before that is an impossible task only a Higher Love can do that. It is up to each one of us to find that divine light in our own heart and to let it shine and that is enough, and that is wonderful.

Your friend and fellow traveler,
David White