Blog 368 – 08.08.2016

In his great love ballad Shower The People You Love With Love, James Taylor very wisely sings, “It doesn’t take any sacrifice.” If you believe that to prove your love for someone else you have to love them more than you love yourself or that you have to sacrifice your health, happiness, or well-being for theirs I submit you have a sick notion of what love and duty is. Psychologist call that kind of love “a crucifixion complex.”

I heard a police officer say in a radio interview recently that he was ready everyday to risk his life for the public. But I believe that that statement was hyperbole or exaggeration. Police officers, firemen, all first responders, rescue workers, and military people are trained to not risk their life in the exercise of their duty. Often what gets labelled as heroic is in reality foolish and risky behavior that just happened to turn out right. Don’t get me wrong, we do and should honor people as heroes who die in service to others but this death wish is a misguided impulse. More often than not risky and impulsive behavior (that goes against training and firm principles of the preservation of life) results in additional injuries and casualties. Life and death situations are seldom like in the movies and trying to act like John Wayne or James Bond will more times than not result in a greater disaster.

So where does this strong belief in the need for sacrifice come from you ask. From “guilt religions” is the short answer but let me elaborate. No young soldier in his or her right mind wants to give up his life for his country. In the words of General George Patton of WWII fame: “It is not your job to die for your country but to make some other dumb son of a bitch die for his.” The colorful speech is General Patton’s but the point he was making is that nobody is asking you to sacrifice your life. Or are they?

Long before Judaim, Christianity, and Islam (three of the more modern guilt religions that have sacrifice at the root of their teachings) people were in various places around the world sacrificing virgins to appease an angry god or to insure a good harvest. Every religion believes it is the “one true religion” and their god the one true god or in the case of pantheism or atheism the best team or self reliance is the ticket.

But back to who wants you to sacrifice, do without, offer your life or someone else as a ransom? Ego, the great enemy of your happiness and well-being. It is one of the oldest tricks in the book, bait and switch. Promising eternal glory he offers instead but a poor flawed copy – grandeur. It is crazy to strap a bomb to your body and blow up people and yourself for god or glory. But it is also crazy to sacrifice to appease and angry god or to be thought a hero. The Universe is abundant and we can share that abundance without having to do without or die. There is more than enough to go around that is the lesson of the loaves and the fishes. Shortage is the lie, and also that somebody has got to die, don’t believe it.

In one of my favorite movie comedies, The Ref, starring Kevin Spacey and Dennis Leary. Kevin’s character’s Mom is holding the whole family hostage with promises of inheritance and loans. Kevin’s wife is wise to her mother-in-law’s manipulations and in a great line calls her out after mom remarks about all the sacrifices she has made for her family. The daughter-in-law says, “Why don’t you just come down from the cross and give it a rest.”

Even if you happen to believe that an angry god requires animal sacrifices and the blood of the first born to pay for sins that has already been done and never need be repeated. So James Taylor is still right you and I can shower the people we love with love and it doesn’t take any sacrifice. There is more than enough to go around. A dear and beloved friend sent me a large decal that I put on my fridge that says, ” Live EVERY MOMENT, Laugh EVERY DAY, Love BEYOND WORDS.” Well said!

Your friend and fellow traveler,
David White