Blog 128 – 9.30.15

I am not a big supporter of the whole idea of marriage, said the man who married four lovely ladies only to learn after many years a lesson so simple that most children grasp it immediately. It is impossible to make anyone else happy. If you are happy and the person or persons you are with are happy you can share that happiness and it is truly wonderful. But if one or both people in a marriage are unhappy with their self that marriage is doomed to be an unhealthy place for the participants and the children born to such a union. This is the reason most marriages do not last and that many of those that do are so miserable.

I would like to tell you about a truly happy marriage. Those of you who have a problem with same sex marriages may have a problem with this story. But that, my friend is your problem. You are in a group that is dwindling in number and no matter how right you think you are or how Scripture based you think such a belief is I think in no time at all your thinking on the matter will seem to most as antiquated as the Amish horse and buggy.

I used to think as you do. I was raised to believe all the stereotypical, macho, condemning as wrong any lifestyle other than mainline heterosexual, whatever that is. But several things opened my eyes to teach me better. First a dear and close family member let it be known he was gay, then an in-law, one of the  most loving and creative people I ever met or hope to meet. Shortly after that I learned that one of my best childhood buddies is gay. Slowly but sweetly I changed my mind and opened my heart to a much more loving world view that allows other people to have their own experiences.

Two of my most cherished friends were married in Arizona last year. It was a beautiful wedding. I know because they shared a wonderful slide presentation with beautiful pictures of the wedding party at a the magnificent desert wedding chapel where the ceremony took place. The hauntingly lovely song You Raised Me Up plays throughout the slide show of the boys, the minister, and their friends at the joyous occasion.

What made it all even more endearing than the tremendous setting, the happy couple, and the gathered friends is that these two wonderful men had been sharing a loving relationship for forty-five years. And now at last they have been allowed to proclaim it to the world. I told someone very dear to me as I shared the wedding pictures with her that forty-five years is a long time to be engaged.

Congratulations you two precious souls and thank you for reminding us all that true love between a couple comes in all sizes, shapes, and combinations and that it really can stand the test of time. The sweet words of a country song come to me in closing, “If love never lasts forever tell me what’s forever for?”

Your friend, fellow traveler, and true believer in forever love,
David White