Blog 3784 – 04.01.2026

Karma

The dictionary defines karma thusly and though I do actually believe that we get to experience as many lives (adventures in time and space) as we choose I do not really believe in fate, destiny, or that God (The Universe) visits the punishment for the sins of the father upon the third and fourth generations nor even upon the first and second generations. Having said that I do believe that there are often consequences to our choices and our actions regarding those choices.

As I turned all the calendar pages in our home this morning, six in all,

my mind fix on the vision of my granddaughter Emma Grace hunting Easter eggs a year ago on our Emma calendar. This is our second Emma calendar given to us by our daughter-in-law Lauren so that we get to see pictures of Emma growing up throughout the year. 

We try to see Emma as much as we can, but it is never enough. Our son Jay lives with his wife and daughter only about twenty-six miles north of us but, and I am not complaining, well maybe a little, it has been my experience that usually the wife’s parents get to see more of the grandchildren than the husband’s do. Though both of my dad’s parents were deceased when I was born, my mom and dad always live very close to my mother’s dad and step mom and we saw way more of mom’s brothers and sisters than we did my dad’s.

I said all that to say how grateful I am that hardly a month goes by that we don’t get to see our granddaughter at least once usually twice and in addition to the calendar picture of her there are literally over a hundred framed photographs of Emma all over our home so we see her sweet face daily. Yet, we did not get to see her hunt those Easter eggs last year, nor have we yet got to spend a birthday with her, nor is there a picture of me or my wife with Emma in last year’s Emma calendar nor this year’s. Emma’s other grandma and grandpa live but four blocks away from her and are the go to babysitters so they get to see her a lot more than we do and they are pictured with her in several of the calendar pictures. That stings a bit. 

What struck me most of about the Emma April calendar picture was not jealousy about her other grandparents getting to see her hunt Easter eggs or to see her so much more than we do, but remembering with regret how little my own and my wife’s parents got to see of their grandson. They like my wife and I were grateful for the times they did get to see him and to be with him and they tried not to complain.

I am so sorry mom and dad. Only now do I realize how very much we cheated you and Jay. What goes around comes around they say and though I do not believe in Karma, that golden rule thing seems to work quite well in reverse – what we have done to others gets done to us and many missed opportunities haunt us all.

In my next incarnation I fully intend to be more considerate and more appreciative of those who hoped to for the opportunity to be better grandparents than they were parents. Sadly by the time most if not all of us learn to be better parents the kids are grown and gone and so we live hoping to have a chance to share those hard learned lessons in loving with our grandchildren.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

David James White