Blog 3785 – 03.23.2026

The Dearly Departed 

Dealing with the loss of family and friends is one of the most difficult things that we encounter in this adventure in time and space. A couple of days ago I received word that a long time friend, Katie Elizabeth Barefield Pentz died. Her oldest daughter Joy informed me. 

I came to know Katie because she was the aunt of my girlfriend friend and first wife. Katie was also our pastor’s wife and since her niece Barbara, her younger sister and brother lived with their grandmother and grandfather, Katie’s mom and dad, I spent a lot of time at the parsonage hoping I would get a chance to see Barbara other that at church services. Barbara’s grandparents took very seriously the guardianship of their grandchildren. Buddy, Katie’s brother and Barbara’s dad, had decided with his wife Mae that Chicago where they lived was too rough a place for their children so they had left them in Chattanooga in Maggie and John’s care.

Barbara was fourteen when I meet her in Sunday School. A year our so later her aunt and uncle came to pastor our little church. I spent more time in Katie’s kitchen talking with her than I did with Barbara. We both loved Barbara very much. We always had that in common.

Barbara died on Halloween in 1999 at aged forty-seven leaving a husband and two children. I married Barbara six days before I left for Vietnam and the marriage was over before it ever really began. A year before Barbara died I saw her again at my father’s funeral. It amazed me that to me she looked just like she had twenty years before that. A few years ago I saw some pictures of her taken in the last years of her life and the camera revealed changes I was not able to see.

Over the years I tried to stay in touch with Katie we both loved to talk and when I was in Chattanooga I always dropped by to see Katie. Just a few weeks ago I called Joy to ask about her mom because I had not been able to reach her by phone. Joy said she had a hard time getting her mom to answer also.

In Joy’s text about Katie’s passing she said that she had been surrounded by family. Katie loved her family. I am so glad and grateful that she always considered me one of her children too. Like my sisters and my brothers, I mourn her loss but happily believe she is in a better brighter place surrounded by the dearly departed family she so longed to see and be with again  – her beloved mom and dad, husband, brothers, nieces and nephews and so many others that she loved in life.

Happy homecoming, Katie. See you later, Sweet Sister. Sister is what her brothers called her.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

David James White