Vive La Difference

Blog 3739 – 02.05.2026

Vive La Difference

Yesterday, on my approximately two and a half hour drive to Bon Wier, Texas from Houston, I listened to part a book that I read some years ago called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray. Men and women think and act so differently it seems like we are from different planets. If you have never read or listened to the book I encourage you, man or woman, to do so. It will help you not only to understand the opposite sex, but to understand yourself and perhaps to relearn to respect and appreciate those differences.

Men derive their self worth from doing things on their own and from fixing things. It gives them a feeling of adequacy, competence. They need to feel needed and love to fix things. When stressed they retreat to their cave to contemplate on their own and find answers to their problems. Finding no immediate answers, they often distract themselves with mind numbing activities that require little attention and effort like reading the newspaper, watching sports, or movies on TV. They view unsolicited advice and even constructive criticism as signs that they are thought of as failures, incapable, untrustworthy, and unloved.

Women derive their self worth from relationships. They enjoy exploring and sharing their feelings, nurturing. They need to feel appreciated, to be listened to. When stressed they like to express their feelings in detail not looking for answers or solutions, just a sounding board, a caring listening ear. They interpret male efforts to fix their problems in these cases as interruptions and as not really listening nor respecting them. Aretha Franklin’s song R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Song comes to mind.

With practice both sexes can learn to listen better and interpret the thoughts and actions of their counterparts better. And as I said initially re-learn to appreciate the differences that attracted us to them in the first place. These differences that can be so frustrating were meant to complement and do when properly understood.

In her, oh so sexy song, Queen of the Night, Whitney Houston sings, “Ive got the stuff that you want. I’ve got the thing that you need. I’ve got more than enough to make you drop to your knees.” More than just sex,” I have heard more than a few women describe what they want from a relationship. I have also heard myself and more than a few men say that they want a relationship that is “not less than sex.” Properly understood men and women want the same things from a relationship – R.E.S.P.E.C.T., appreciation, and lots of T.L.C.

Vive La difference all you queens and kings of the day and night.