Blog 3720 – 01.17.2026
The Measure of a Life
On gravestones the entire span of a lifetime is symbolized by a small dash between two dates yet a life time of memories, of victories and defeats, of accomplishments and failures would require a large volume or several. We honor our friends and loved ones on their birthdays, mourn their passing and remember them fondly.
I mentioned the first girl that I ever wrote love poems to and the first girl that I ever kissed yesterday in my blog. My life-long boyhood friend commented on Facebook that he was unaware of the latter’s passing and that if the former was still out there that he wanted her to know that she was fondly remembered as the first girl he ever kissed. Our Becky is gone, yet our Jan still remains. I never kissed Jan, I was far too shy when I was typing “secret” love poems to her for such a bold move. Fact is that I had the perfect opportunity to kiss her on stage before the whole faculty, student body and host of parents and friends attending the performance of the spring play our last year at East Lake Junior High School. I had been cast in the leading role of a young doctor in a murder mystery and Jan was the leading lady, the doctor’s sweetheart. There was in the script a scene where we were supposed to share a passionate kiss. It was the chance of a lifetime, but much as I wanted to practice and perfect that kiss with Jan I asked the director of the play if we could share a tender embrace instead. My all time favorite teacher, Mr. Crane, knew as probably everyone who knew me did that I worshipped the ground my co-star walked upon and so after trying to convince me to at least rehearse the kiss once he yielded to my request and rewrote the scene as a passionate hug instead. It was still pretty wonderful and the memory of it still warms my heart.
My friend Rick a bolder and much braver lad could not believe that I had passed on the opportunity to kiss Jan who was one of the prettiest and most popular girls at our school. After the play I perfected my poetry, my hugging, and went on to experienced that first kiss by which all others are forever judged with Becky. Ric’s first kiss was with Jan. Both Jan and Becky experienced their first kisses with other lucky boys.
I have often sited the little children’s round Row Row Row Your Boat as providing a far better definition, description, and measure of life than just a dash between two dates. It says, “Life is but a dream.” There is another sweet love song that proposes a better, I think measure of life than that small dash. I have posted a link to that song – A Kiss To Build A Dream on by the incomparable Louis Armstrong.
Your friend fellow traveler and forever fan of Jan whom though I never kissed I will forever worship as the one I wanted to most at thirteen years of age,
David James White
theencouragingword 