Blog 3645 – 10.26.2026
Vices
Arguably the greatest satirist that America ever
produced, Mark Twain, said it was important to hang on to a few vices, if for no other reason, so that you would have something with which to bargain with God. You know, like “God if you will get me out of this mess I will give up smoking, the chew, lying, drinking or going with girls who do.”
Of course all that bargaining with God nonsense presupposes that your idea of God comes from one of the “guilt religions” who envision God as some grumpy old grandpa leaning over the balcony of heaven and every time he sees someone enjoying themselves shouts, “Quit doing that!”
My take on God, the Universe, has evolved as I hope I have. I envision God as our loving and infinite source who has provided this “safe-space” for us to experience all there is to experience, this time and space wonderland, where as the Unitarians say, “Life is meant to be good.”
If the little children’s chorus is correct and “Life is but a dream” instead of a grim old grandpa God is more like a loving Mama ever whispering, “Sweet dreams, Baby.”
But, back to the importance of vices. Because I had a misspent childhood, youth, and young adulthood in a narrow fundamentalist religion that taught a very long and detailed list of “no-no’s”, I never even drank a glass of wine let alone the harder stuff till in my mid-forties when I discarded those beliefs that were no longer serving me. First thing I did, when I chucked all that, was to try a mixed drink just to see if a lightning bolt would part my hair or worse.
I am still not much of a drinker. I have not had an alcoholic beverage in several years, but do not consider myself a tee-to totaler. I could have a drink if I wanted to, I just do not want to.
Vices are considered “bad habits” that people should give up. Many started smoking cigarettes when they were young because they thought it made them look older or cool or to stay thin. I never did, so that is one habit or vice that I never had to struggle giving up.
The Mormon list of vices, also includes prohibitions on drinking coffee and tea. I guess they had to balance out all that polygamy with something. I have been an ice tea drinker most all of my life. It is a Southern tradition. I have tried several times over the course of my almost seventy-five years to take up the habit of coffee drinking, but failed.
I recently heard that drinking a cup of coffee every day is good for the liver. And as I know how important a health liver is if you want to be a long liver, nine days ago I started having a cup of coffee with my breakfast each morning. According to AI it may take as long as 66 days (maybe longer) for my coffee drinking habit to kick in. I will get back to you when it does.
Hey, I eased into retirement almost four years ago by gradually teaching myself to take it easier. My last day job was perfect for preparing to quit work altogether. I was a contract third party welding and utility inspector for oil and gas companies, where I basically got paid and well with additional daily Per Diem and mileage allowance (tax-free) for watching other people work. The perfect pre-retirement job, almost as good as my previous dream job – to work in a mattress factory as a test pilot on the third shift, to get paid for sleeping. Dreams do come true.
So as a part of my plan to make retirement even better, I intend to make up for all those relaxing coffee breaks I missed out on over all those years that I was not a coffee drinker. And who knows, if I out live my lovely and loving wife also a coffee-drink, I may just take a walk on the wild side and rethink the admonition, “I do not smoke, drink, or chew, or go with girls who do.” Maybe I will start oft easy with cigars. Ha. Mark Twain did love a good cigar.
Your friend and fellow traveler,
David James White
Roy Orbison – Sweet dreams baby
theencouragingword 