​

Blog 494 – 12.14.2016
A Gentleman

I try very hard to remember all my friends on their birthdays and write a few sentences to each one. That may not sound like much but you would be surprised how much more it means to most people than a quick Happy Birthday or even a well chosen card or gift. But you’re a writer you may say, that’s your thing. I am a writer but more than that, I am a lover of people, and what people want most is some assurance that they matter. Everyones does matter but so few of even our friends and family take a moment to tip their hat, salute smartly, or get up from the table to acknowledge not only a lady but a gentleman, an important friend or person of either sex.

A middle school classmate commented on a greeting I wrote to her that I was a southern gentleman. I assure you that I am more of a rascal much of the time than a gentleman but I do know how to act like a gentleman and show respect. What is a gentleman? A gentleman is not someone born to a title like a Lord, Duke, or Earl. A gentleman is a gentle man, a harmless man. Jesus was a gentle man. Much is made of his temper tantrum when he drove the money changers out of the Temple with a whip that he had made of cords. The whip was to get the cattle to move and he most likely popped it to make them move and did not strike anyone. He over turned the money changers tables spilling their money. I am sure that sent them scurrying – hit them where it hurt so to speak, in the pocketbook. Anything more is inconsistent with the prophecy about Jesus that he was harmless as a lamb and that “He would not break a bent reed.” It is fascinating the lengths that ego will go to to make us believe that Jesus was a tough as nails, hell and brimstone preacher. That is not the picture painted of a man so tender and at peace with himself and nature that a dove would desend on him. Children were drawn to him. He was a gentle man.

We have all had glimpses of God in others. Jesus was more than a glimpse. His eyes told people, “I care.” I love his words to the woman caught in the act of adultery. The church folks were ready to stone her to  death. Many church folks are still like that today. Jesus disarmed them with his words, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” One by one They laid their rocks down and walked away leaving Jesus and the woman by themselves. Jesus said to her, ” Where are your accusers?” She said, “Gone.” He went on to say, “Neither do I condemn you.” To make the story acceptable to the judges someone added “Go and sin no more” but if you understand that sin means “missing the mark” you know Jesus would never ask anyone to do the impossible.

Ego equates macho with manliness and tenderness and gentleness with femininity but these traits are not limited to either sex. Both women and men can be bull headed, harsh and demanding – macho. And both men and women have it in them to be caring, sensitive, and gentle. Those last three are not sissy and the first three are not traits any man or woman should be particularly proud of. In what is called The Love Chapter there is a wonderful but not exhaustive list of some of Love’s attributes: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, It does not boast, It is not proud, It does not dishonor others, It is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always trusts, always hopes, always persevers.” A true gentleman or a  true lady loves people and let’s it show.

There is a gentleman (sweet spirit) and a rascal (ego) in each of us and we get to choose which voice we will listen to and how we will act. Don’t count that gentleman out for love is stronger than hate, and the truth stronger than any lie.

Your friend a fellow traveler,
Sometime southern gentleman,
David White