Blog 219 – 01.29.2016

Since I was a boy I have been fascinated with the concept of time travel. Some of my most favorite books and movies explore the theme. In this the sixty-fifth year of this adventure in time I am determined to move on to a higher plain of existence when I awake from this particular dream. In an effort to insure that I do, I want to travel back in time and make sure I have learned all the lessons I need to in order to graduate if not “cum laude” at least “got it, ready to move on” this time. Come with me and enjoy the ride, who knows we might learn a few things or at least have a few laughs. I read recently that the most important thing we can do in life is hold the light for one another so we can see the way home together.

I began this incarnation on November 22, 1950. The two I chose to play the roles of my father and mother were James Clifford White and Alene Florence Davidson White. The city I chose for my birth was Chattanooga, Tennessee. I must have been fond of the song Dixie in a previous incarnation because like a line in the song says “In Dixieland where I was born in, early on a frosty mornin’…”

Doctor J. Tim Curry was the attending physician and fourteen years later he would perform a second surgery for me removing my tonsils and adenoids. I do not remember my birth (to paraphrase Forest Gump) but I do remember the second time a doctor whittled on me. I say second because on the day of my birth or shortly thereafter though I was not born to Jewish parents I was circumcised. I am glad they did not wait till I was fourteen for that surgery. The tonsillectomy was painful enough.

I have before me the photostatic copy of my birth record in my mother’s handwriting. This was the official record of my birth till I enrolled at GBS. Gulf Coast Bible College required a certified birth certificate. I still like the old one best (actually the only difference between the two is the certified copy is white with black letters and is attested to, signed and sealed and the original photostatic copy is black with white letters and has no attestation signature and seal). It is called a Certificate of Live Birth and I will use it as a launching pad for thoughts about my incarnation, my life as it was and is in this space/time continuum.

CERTIFICATE OF LIVE BIRTH

1. NAME OF CHILD David James White. What is in a name? Shakespeare said and I paraphrase, would not a diaper by any other name smell as sweet or not? I have often been told my mother put the names David and James backwards. I have seen far more James David(s) than David James(s). Mom was a stickler about names for her boys. She wanted us called David and Robert no nicknames or shorted names. I always wanted to be called Davy like Davy Crockett but was too timid to speak up. My brother on the other hand when asked by his third grade teacher, “What do you like to be called?” replied “Just call me, Bob.” For many years my mom would get pissed off when his friends would call and asked to speak to Bob. Ha, mama you were a trip, wish your ride could have been a happier one.
2. BIRTH NO. 141-50-68171.

I am reminded of the theme song to the sixties TV show about a secret agent called Secret Agent Man. The line goes “they’ve given me a number and taken way my name.” The show was a lower budget TV production in the 007 genre. But I thought it was cool as did most of my peers.

3 SEX: (Yes, please. I kid. It actually reads) Male. 

3A. THIS BIRTH: Single (is checked not twin or triplet).

3B. IF TWIN OR TRIPLET, THIS CHILD IS BORN (none of the three boxes labled 1^st, 2^nd, and 3^rd is checked as this was a single birth there is a tentative dot in the 1^st box as if mom started to check it then realized it did not apply or perhaps it is just an impurity in the photostatic copy)

4. DATE OF BIRTH November 22, 1950

An aside here, three famous men died on my thirteenth birthday, not a lucky day for them or on a more positive note it was their graduation day – President John F. Kennedy, C.S. Lewis, and Aldous Huxley. I am certain they are all three enjoying a Brave New World, Surprised by Joy, and are Profiles of Courage and Vigor.) The certificate continues,

5. PLACE OF BIRTH
6. COUNTY Hamilton

The only comment that comes to mind is a statement regarding the honesty of Alexander Hamilton, the first Secretary of the Treasury of the United States of America. It is said than many millions of dollars passed through his hands and that not a penny stuck. History records that he was killed in a duel by Aaron Burr, then Vice President of the United States. Clashing egos have brought death and destruction for eons but LOVE will win in the end, in fact, it already has for there is only love and everything else is an illusion (Heavy philosophy).

1. CIVIL DISTRICT: 1^st

It is good to be first in something, as it was said of George Washington, “First in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.” It is interesting to note that even ole George was not always first, he married a widow. I may have been born in the 1^st Civil District as attested to by this certificate but Tennessee was jokingly ranked 50^th in education though Mississippi, Alabama, and South Carolina may have vied for that ranking. Another interesting fact about the District code is that it was the precursor of the zip code. In 1943 just seven years before my arrival cities of any size began using postal districts or zones to aid in the sorting and delivery of mail hence Elvis Presley’s line in the song Return to Sender “No such person, no such zone.” In 1963 the district or zone code was expanded to five digits and designated the ZIP code. The Zone and Zip Code information is included for all you trivia buffs.

1. CITY OR TOWN (IF OUTSIDE THE CITY LIMITS WRITE RURAL)

Chattanooga

For the first eighteen years of my life Chattanooga was my home (excepting the couple of years we lived in Detroit in the early fifties). I left Chattanooga in November of 1968 for Knoxville where I was inducted into the US Army. I will never forget the surprise and sadness in my mother’s voice as I called her from Knoxville after the physical, testing, and induction to say I was on my way to Fort Campbell, KY for Basic Training. She had been pretty calm at the bus station in Chattanooga saying good-bye. She told me later it was because I had had a heart murmur as a child and she was convinced that I would fail the physical and be back home in a few days. Surprise, surprise (to borrow Gomer Pyle’s exclamatory remark) her boy was in the Army now (yes, I know Gomer was a Marine). I had to leave home to grow up. I am still growing-up or I prefer awakening to my highest potential.

 

1. NAME OF (IF NOT IN HOSPITAL GIVE STREET LOCATION) Physicians & Surgeons

The small hospital was called Doctors Hospital by some and in this same building fourteen years later I had my tonsils removed hence the comment above about circumcision. The tonsillectomy at fourteen was quite painful. Thankfully I have no recollection of the pain of the circumcision at least consciously. The tip of my penis is still quite tender though Just in case you were wondering, Ha.

6. USUAL RESIDENCE (WHERE DOES MOTHER LIVE)
7. STATE Tennessee
8. CITY Chattanooga
9. CIVIL DISTRICT CODE 1^st

First let me say that the parenthetical phrase does not speak well of the understanding of the people filling these out (in my case my mother as it was in probably most cases) that they were highly educated. Mom dropped out of school in the tenth grade as did my dad but both of them read widely and were considerably more educated than the level of school they attained might support. And let me say regarding formal education that in many cases it can be as much a limiting thing as enlightening thing as we are taught to believe many things that just are not true. Just one glaring example will suffice, why do they teach us that our heart is on the left side of our chest when it is in the middle? Is it to keep us off-balance and away from the source of true knowledge – our heart of hearts? My Mommy loved her hometown, Chattanooga and lived there all her 69 years except for several years living with her folks in Detroit and when Dad moved us to Detroit to a better economic life. In Detroit Dad worked two jobs at the same time, I think. He drove a street car by day and worked in the Cadillac factory by night. But Mom was not happy away from her beloved Chattanooga and begged him to move us back. Dad did because he loved her and maybe because he was tired of working so hard trying to make a better life for his family in Detroit.

1. STREET (IF RURAL GIVE LOCATION) 1435 Park Avenue

Park Avenue was my first address and trust me in was not an expensive property like the one next to Boardwalk of Monopoly fame. I have no memory of living there but do remember being left in my Dad’s red 1953 Ford pickup while he talked to family still living there (I must have been about four years of age). While dad talked on I slid over behind the wheel and stepped on the starter button on the floor and jumped the truck several car lengths down the street before dad interrupted his story long enough to come stop me. Dad could really get engrossed in one of his own stories. I do not remember being punished, just talked to and I think he laughed. Dad had a wonderful sense of humor. Fortunately there were no parked cars or telephone poles in the path the truck took so no harm no foul.

FATHER OF CHILD

1. FULL NAME James Clifford White What is in a name? Dad had several nicknames each a story in itself. Jake –because as a boy there was a barber named Jake in the area and since the young James was always in need of a haircut folks took to calling him Jake. Even after his death some of his surviving brothers and sister and their families referred to him as Jake. Tony – because of a permanent by that name that my mother and her sister, Katherine, talked dad into letting them give him. Two-Speed – because the first trip he drove on the road in a tractor/trailer truck that had two ranges he drove the entire trip in low range not knowing how to shift it into high range. But, my favorite, Windy – because he loved to talk. I never met the man who could hold a candle to him, (Candle In The Wind pun) in that department though I did inherit the gift of gab from him, I try to remember to let the other people share in the conversation. Dad was not often concerned with other points of view when telling one of his tall tales and if you were successful interrupting him, successful interrupting him, he would go right back to his place in his story not missing a beat. How I would love to hear one of Daddy’s stories now. They all grew bigger and better with the telling.

8. COLOR OR RACE White

Both Mom and Dad had a problem with Race because they were taught and believed that there were several races and not just one, The Human Race, but then that was pretty common in the South and to some degree everywhere when they grew up. Sadly, it still is. As a young man dad even joined the KKK. I remember he took my brother and me to a meeting in the basement of a Baptist church where they had chili before the meeting. I remember Robert really loved those oyster crackers. It was, I think, the first time either of us had seen them. To think, a church sponsoring hate organization, but then haven’t religious people always been the best haters and killers for that matter. I think my Mom must have had daddy-issues and was attracted to my dad for the very things she grew to despise. Isn’t that one of Ego’s finest tools to have us despising the very thing we love? Twisting and turning is Ego’s thing.  Satan means, “Accuser of the brethren” and that is the perfect description of man’s creation, Ego.

9. AGE (AT THE TIME OF THIS BIRTH) 26 YEARS

Mom always said daddy was an old man when she married him but in his defense while he was on Midway Island in WWII his daddy died and even though dad was sending his paychecks home in allotments already to support his younger siblings he took up the mantle of head of the house from that point. Dad had one older brother Ira but Junior as we called him married early and had family responsibilities of his own. When dad sent his whole baggage home from Midway Island in a Navy Radar box he had liberated, it was sent an address on Park Avenue where his older sister Avelene keep house for herself and dad’s younger sisters and brother, Sybil, Ruby, and Joe in descending order of age. If I remember the story correctly Avelene had to get Ruby and Joe out of an orphanage in Atlanta, Georgia where they had been taken when Tom White, dad’s dad had gotten sick with tuberculosis before his death. It was the support from dad that convinced the judge she could take care of the children. At this writing Ruby and Joe are the only ones who survive of the Tom White and Etta Mae Underwood White union which consisted of Ira, Avelene, Bruce (who died as a child), James (my daddy), Sybil, Ruby, and Joe.

BIRTH PLACE Tennessee Yes, as the song of the same name I am The Number One Fan of the Man from Tennessee. I loved my Dad but did not come to really appreciate him until I was grown. I was so much a mama’s boy and believed her myth that dad was the cause of all her troubles being so insensitive and unromantic. He was neither, oh, like all us guys, his performance was flawed but his higher best self was worthy of worship as are we all. Love allows us to see clearly the divine in the beloved.

USUAL OCCUPATION Truck driver

Daddy was a truck driving man. Over the years he worked as a carpenter, painter, plumber’s helper and as I mentioned above street car driver, and machinist at Cadillac in Detroit, but Daddy was a life-long Teamster and spend most of his working career behind the wheel of a concrete mixer driving for Vulcan Materials in Chattanooga. Daddy in the mid 1950’s drove long haul across country but gave it up because I cried missing my daddy and said, “Why can’t my Daddy have a job like Paw Paw where he comes home at night.” When dad was driving cross country he would be out of town all week and come home only to crash on the bed dog tired and sleep most of the time he was with us only to head back out again on Monday morning. I think he loved the road and the money was better but maybe the temptations were too great and maybe again he just got tired of working so hard and maybe too he really did love his family and want to be home with them every night.

KIND OF BUSINESS OR INDUSTRY Inter City Trucking Company

I think when I was born that my dad was running a loading and unloading crew handling freight for Inter City Trucking. Mom said several times how muscular his legs and arms were when dad was loading freight. As small boys when Robert and I would see dad in his long-handle-underwear in the winter time we referred to them as his superman suit. After I got out of the Army in the fall of 1971 and was attending the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga dad got me in the Teamsters Union so I could load freight part-time and earn money. The best hourly rate I had gotten up to that time and for several years afterward.

MOTHER OF CHILD

AGE (AT TIME OF BIRTH) 19

That seems so young to me now but I remember ten years later that mom thought she was getting old when she went from 29 to 30. Thus is the power of thought to create our world. As a young man I used to tease my mom, “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better.” There was a commercial at the time that was selling some hair care product for women that used that catch phrase but I have come to believe there is a real true in those words.  We need to put a positive spin on life to remain positive and upbeat. Heaven knows Mom always had a problem looking too much at the dark side of things. Another thing I teased her about was how some people see the glass half full some see it half empty but she was different her class was “Somebody stole my glass.” I think it best to see life as the Psalmist David saw it, “My cup runneth over.”

BIRTH PLACE (STATE OR FOREIGN COUNTRY) Tennessee

16A USUAL OCCUPATION Housewife

Up till this point in her life the only work outside the home that my mom had done was working as a stock and sales clerk in a dime store in Chattanooga. If I remember correctly she had worked for Grants and also for a chain called McLellan’s. I remember that most years when Robert and I were young that mom would work days till dark during the Christmas season at McLellan’s to earn money to make sure we had a nice Christmas. Christmas was a very important time for mom and she always made sure we had a tree, gifts, and special food for Christmas. Thank you, Mama. Dad was often laid off work because of the weather during this time so he watched us after school when he was off work and took us to pick up mom when he could. If dad was working Lily my Grandma keep an eye on us and mom rode the bus home. When we did get to pick her up it was an adventure seeing the Christmas lights in downtown Chattanooga. Several years we saw the Christmas parade and the lighting of the Christmas lights, magical moments to a small boy. That boy’s delight at Christmas lights as stayed with me all of my life.

16B KIND OF BUSINESS OR INDUSTRY Domestic

Women still get a raw deal with unequal pay, continuing discrimination in the work place, and the double-standard. It was so much worse in the thirties and forties when my mother grew up. Domestic indeed, sounds like she was a maid and sadly most of her life she thought she was and she did not like it. That had to contribute to the chronic depression that lead to my mother taking her own life in 2000 three years after my daddy died. She would have turned sixty-nine her birthday that year. See you later, Mama.

CHILDREN PREVIOUSLY BORN TO THIS MOTHER (DO NOT INCLUDE THIS CHILD) 2

1. HOW MANY OTHER CHILDREN ARE NOW LIVING? 0
2. HOW MANY OTHER CHILDREN WERE BORN ALIVE BUT ARE NOW DEAD? 2
3. HOW MANY CHILDREN WERE STILL BORN (BORN DEAD AFTER 20 WEEKS OF PREGNANANCY? 0

Growing up there was little known about these mysterious brothers that my brother Robert and I never knew. Dad did let it slip once, Dad was never much for keeping secrets, and I happen to believe no good ever comes of keeping secrets, that he was not the father of the twins. Later in life, my Mom was disappointed to learn that her youngest son, my brother, is Gay. She finally got the nerve to ask Robert and he answered honestly for he was not ashamed, nor should he have been. But it was a problem for her and dad. They were raised not only with racial prejudice but many others as well. Shortly before my mom took her own life in 2000 she told my brother, “I kept your secret.” And he told her in response, “No, mother you kept your secret.” My brother is a wise man, and kind, and true.” I love him very much.

On the morning of the day my dad passed away, it was July 14, 1997, the day before my daughter Emily’s seventeenth birthday. Em was visiting some of her mother’s family on the East Coast near Washington, D.C. My wife, Linda Stokes, our seven year old son Jonathan David James Wallace White (we gave him his own name Jonathan, my name David, my dad’s name James, and his other grandfather’s name Wallace – we thought he might not have them long in his life because we had him so late in our lives – we both turned 40 the year he was born in 1990.) Also I figured he’d have all those names and nick and shortened names to choose from. At this time he goes by Jay, go figure. I guess Jonathan was too long for his taste, for a while he went by Jon but maybe he got tired of people spelling it John, the more common spelling. At any rate, Jay is as good a moniker as any. I am reminded of a Xmas tree ornament we bought when he was a boy that was Darth Vader and plugged into a twinkle light and every time you turned on the tree Darth Vader in James Earl Jones wonderful voice would say, “The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.” Whether you call the Creative Force, the Force, the Source, LORD, or God, I must correct Darth, The Source is indeed with you, young Skywalker, you are indeed a Jedi and have always been.”

Back to Mama’s true secret and how I came to get the details “straight from the horse’s mouth” as they say. Mom and I were sitting at the kitchen table. Dad was working in the garage. Linda and Jay were still sleeping. Mom was telling me how dad had gotten down in his back earlier that year and how he could not even get out of bed for days and she had to wait on him even taking him a bed pan. She said and I quote, “I just don’t think I could take care of him if he got sick.” Prophetic words in a way as she never had to, for he died that evening as the four of us played Monopoly at the dining room table. Just a few feet away in his bedroom where he retired early saying he did not feel well dad passed and did not cry out or make a noise. We found him when mom went to check on him before we all were about to go to sleep for the night. That sleep was delayed as we awaited the police and then the funereal home personnel to take dad’s body. I slept in my father’s bed that first night without him.

At the kitchen table after her remark about not being able to take care of dad if he got sick I asked her how she and dad came to be married. She wanted to tell the story and it just flowed out of her. She had gotten pregnant as a teenager without being married, a real no – no in the late forties. And she was already showing so it was no secret to anyone with eyes. She was having a soft drink at a shop where kids her age hung out down town and she said she had seen my dad before with mutual friends but had never been introduced. Lo and behold he walked over to her table and introduced himself and said to her in so many words that it looked like she needed somebody and he would like to volunteer to be that somebody, would she like to get married. He said he wanted a home and she looked like she could use one too. Well, she lit into him, said she wouldn’t marry him if he was the last man on earth or words to that affect. She must have been pretty rough on him because he steered clear of her from then on. Mom and her sister Katherine were still in Chattanooga at that time but her daddy, step-mother, Lilly, and younger siblings were all living in Detroit where Paw Paw, (Willie Morris Davidson – mom’s dad) was superintendent at a small apartment building. Lily, after my Mom’s death gave me a picture of Mom with Paw Paw where Mom was very pregnant. I asked her if that was me and she said, “No, it was the twins.” Lilly could not recall the name of their father but she did know it once as did others. But since it was my mother’s secret they did not talk about it. Mom and Katherine went to live in Detroit with the others and some where she had the twins and they died shortly after they were born. Katherine and Mom returned to Chattanooga and got jobs at the five and ten cent store but were forced to live with first this aunt and then another till they wore out their welcome because they could not afford a place of their own. There just was not room for them in Detroit and so Mom looked up my Dad. She asked him if his offer of marriage still held and he said, “Yes.” Then she added what would have been a deal breaker for most men, “Katherine comes too.” But, my daddy knew how much family meant so he said, “that will be fine.” My mom never thought so, but I thought it was a beautiful love story about a loving man who loved her and wanted her even though she was pregnant with another man’s babies and even after she rejected him so harshly was still ready and willing to marry her even if it meant her sister came to live with them too. Way to go, Dad.

16D. MOTHER’S MAILING ADDRESS 1435 Park Avenue, Chattanooga, Tenn.

SIGNATURE A. I HEREBY CERTIFY THAT THIS CHILD WAS BORN ALIVE ON THE DATE STATED ABOVE

NAME J. Tom Curry (stamped DEC 11 1950 B. ATTENDED AT BIRTH with MD box checked. MID-WIFE, and OTHER boxes left blank)

1. ADDRESS 1019 McCallie Ave.

20A. REGISTRATION DISTRICT 23301

20B. DATE RECEIVED BY LOCAL REGISTRAR 11-25-50

20C. (Looks like) CH Ridder

(and at the bottom middle it reads)

FOR MEDICAL AND HEALTH USE ONLY

     Thus concludes the first legal document supporting the birth of one David James White. Since I will most likely not be around to comment on the Death Certificate of David James White let these comments shed a little more light on the life lived than the document does.

Your friend and fellow traveler,

David White