Blog 182 – 12.11.15

The symbols of the season are many but whether you prefer the Beautiful Baby in a Manger, the Jolly ole Elf Saint Nick, the Lighting of the Candles, or even the rejection of the commercialness of it and enjoying the real snow and icicles on the evergreens outdoors.  I think most of us can agree that the Holiday Season is meant to be joyous. It is not for a great many people and I’d like to talk about why.

We have a malady in our culture called by several names, two of which I will mention – “Remembering the Past” and “Honoring the Dead.” Let me spend a little time with each and see if I can get to the bottom of why the holidays are so sad for so many.

Remembering the past is set up as the thing we ought to do. We are told it is unwise to forget the past and that those who do are doomed to repeat it. Letting go, forgiving, and forgetting are the very best things to do with the past especially those painful memories than bring sadness into the heart. I personally like to hang on to some of the bright, lovely, and uplifting memories to bring out on rainy days. But the American custom of marking the anniversary of tragedy is a real problem. As an example take December 7 as FDR spoke, “A day that will live in infamy…” The surprise attack by the Japanese on Hawaii took place in 1941. How long must we remember that awful day approximately 2500 American lives were lost. Almost the same number as died when the Twin Towers were brought down on 9/11/2001. We killed a lot of Japanese and lost many Americans trying to settle that score. Two atomic bombs were dropped on civilian cities. Tokyo was fire bombed. Those acts too live in infamy. For many years the Japanese have been our allies and business partners. When do we take back December 7 and celebrate it for something pleasant that happened on that day?

As we grow older every death of a loved one around the holidays makes it a day of mourning and not of celebration which leads into the second name for our holiday spoiler, “Honoring the death.” How should we honor the dead? The ancient Jews had a brief period of mourning where they wore sack cloth and put ashes on their heads. Some people wear black for a period. Our nation honors Presidents and certain people who pass with all American Flags flown at half mast for a month over public buildings. But I think the Irish Catholics do it best with a Wake, an all night party for the deceased before a burial the next day.  They celebrate the departed home like the Christmas song, Celebrate Me Home.

I have gone full circle back to Tis The Season To Be Jolly. Two beloved singers Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand sang a duet together of two songs that finish my point. Judy sang, “Forget Your Troubles Come On Get Happy” and Barbra sang, “Happy Days Are Here Again.” They merged the two wonderfully. Happy Holidays everyone, Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, and Atheist too. Let go the sadness of the past and honor the departed by being happy and celebrating life – theirs and your own.

Your friend and fellow traveler,
David White