Blog 176 – 12.3.1

I saw a little piece on social media yesterday where someone was saying they considered them self a loner and that a few friends were enough. I love people and don’t think you can ever have too many friends but it got me thinking that I am not much of a joiner anymore.

I love people, but group behavior is a problem for me. I grew up in Christian churches and most were far from good examples of the best of group behavior. Western lynch mobs and European football brawls have nothing on a Christian church business meeting. I remember one such Wednesday night prayer meeting that had an annual business meeting afterwards and the arguments that happened over some petty expenses and election of officers was so outrageous that one of the older teens escorted a guest outside to wait in the car and came back in to tell the congregation how disappointed he was with all of them and how embarrassed he was that his friend had seen and heard how small minded they all were. It is a joke among Christians that they are the only army that kills their own wounded. But sadly even families are hardest on their own.

My problem though with most groups is not their mistreatment of their own but of those outside the group. First of all the biggest problem with most groups is their exclusiveness and a tendency to think themselves better than others. I am a bigger circle kind of guy even when in comes to family. When I was a young man I used to joke about crashing family picnics and dinners just to get a good meal. “Oh, yeah you remember me, I’m Uncle Bob’s nephew, Roy’s boy.” To me healthy families always have more than enough food and love to share with distant relations. I grew up in the South where we thought of everyone as at least a cousin once or twice removed.

Some years ago I came across The Ten Intentions For A Better A Better World and found them to be good words to live by. The Tenth Intention – Synergize says:
“I see Humanity as One. I enjoy gathering with light-hearted people regularly. When we get together, we set the stage for Great Oneness to reveal Itself. We Synergize.”

I particularly like the “light hearted people” part. There is way too much negativity at the core of most groups especially political and religious groups. The last group I tried to join was a men’s fraternal order. As much as I loved the mostly older guys in the group I soon found the same problem most groups suffer from, the ole “we’re the chosen ones, the cream of the crop.” In a Simpson parody of this particular group Homer joins The Stonecutters and takes pride in the fact that he is so special he gets a unique number on his membership card. To me no group identity can compare to the One on One relationship each of us has to our Divine counterpart. If love has a hierarchy it is this:
Love God/the Universe with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and secondly love your neighbor as you love yourself.” We are joined in that great Oneness so any other “joining” is at best imaginary and at worse some attempt to separate or pretend to be “special.”

Your friend and fellow traveler,
David White