Blog 149 – 10.28.15

When I was a young man I remember being so sure of everything. I had strong opinions and beliefs about most everything. If we live long enough and are open life will teach us better. I held on hard to my beliefs and preached them with passion but I was unbending and intolerant and there is a word for that…

Some years ago I worked as a welding inspector in a large fabrication shop. I became friends with all the welders and fitters and also the supervisory staff. One day one of the supervisors gave me a folded copy that looked like a Christian tract. There was a black and white picture on the front of a familiar depiction of Christ with the words printed boldly above the picture, “Jesus Loves You!” When you opened it on the inside was printed, “But, all the rest of us think you’re an Asshole.” Yes, that is the word I was looking for and I do not deny I have acted just that way too often to be too proud of myself. Haven’t we all? Well, maybe not you. Having a little trouble admitting our shortcomings are we?

Most of the time when I have been acting well not my highest and best it has been defending my point of view or a belief I was so sure of that I thought everyone should see it that way. Some beliefs and opinions are hard for us to let go of because we are comfortable with the familiar and do not like change. There is subtle change occurring all the time. The line “God never changes” comforts many people but I think it is talking about our being able to count on God’s love being available to all continually. The reality is that God, the Universe, is continually changing. Scientists tell us the Universe is expanding and we with it.

In the song What A Wonderful World the singer says, “I hear babies cry. I watch them grow. They’ll learn much more. Than I’ll ever know.” Still parents persist with the old illusion that they always know more than their teenaged or young adult children. Don’t misunderstand me, I tried to teach my son to listen respectfully to everyone because even the down and out person knows something you don’t and you can learn something if you listen. But I think it is also an error to not listen to our children because they too have much to teach us. There has been a great explosion of information in our lifetime and it has become much harder for many people my age to find themselves in the Information Age.

I am reminded of the words of a song by Bob Dillion from my youth The Times They Are Changing. These words are featured in the new Steve Jobs movie.

“Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don’t criticize
What you can’t understand.

Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is rapidly aging
Please get if the new one
If you can’t lend your hand

It is a sadness I have observed for parents, the older generation, to “be so sure they know best” that they cannot just lend a hand when asked but act like it is still their job to command the lives of their children. That is a sadness to both children and parents. There is an expression “changing of the guard.” The old guard retires from the field. It is now the new guard’s job. And really as parents we do the best we can to prepare our children and honestly we don’t really know what to prepare them for and often our parents didn’t either. If we are wise we will let our parents off the hook, and ours selves, and our children and cheer them on hoping for the best. A wonderful line comes to mind, “All things work together for good.” In my almost sixty five years I have found that to be so.

Relax don’t you think it is time you admit that you really aren’t so sure of everything and that you just want to be happy. Sometimes admitting our ignorance can be bliss and even an old dog can learn a few new tricks if he or she remains teachable. Hey, I am preaching to just the assholes, like me, all you perfect folks can disregard the well intended advice as Mac Davis’s song said:

“Oh, Lord, it’s hard to be humble,
When you’re perfect in every way,
I can’t wait to look in the mirror,
‘Cause I get better looking each day.”

Have a great day, Good Looking.

Your friend and fellow traveler,
David White